It’s been awhile since I’ve done anything on the 1980s dairy industry “Milk, It Does a Body Good!” ads, which frequently featured some underdeveloped pipsqueak being transformed into a well developed physical specimen following years of projected milk intake.
I did this Sofia Vergara gag not too long ago. Japanese TV commercials of the late 80s and early 90s often explicitly connected milk consumption and breast development. And busty sexpot Shay Laren is not above crediting milk for her big, gorgeous breasts.
Having been in my teen years in the 80s and being extremely turned on by breast growth and expansion, those ads were extraordinary inspiring for sexual fantasies. And perhaps I can share a more recent one with you – a four page breast expansion comic I prepared with the help of a friend:
And in case you don’t speak English and are using a translator to read this site, here’s the dialog transcript:
Michael Martin, I barely even existed in your eyes in high school …
But I’m drinking milk!
I had a crush on you all through high school … but you scarcely even knew I was alive.
And after seeing you with countless tall, busty girls, I knew you only saw what I lacked on the outside, not what I had on the inside.
These days I’m working on a doctoral thesis in genetic modification of bovine mammary glandular tissue. And drinking lots and lots of milk from my lab!
So … I’m growing fast.
And – WOW! – my outsides are seriously catching up with …
you’re not listening to a word I’m saying, are you?
You’re just staring at my gorgeous, growing tits. Ha!
I mean, that’s really so typical of you, Michael.
Here I go to extraordinary lengths to raise myself to the level of physical attractiveness you’ve always demanded of the women in your life.
I mean, really, just look at the size of these tits. They’re enormous, and they’re not even done growing, yet!
I’m turning myself into a veritable freak of nature, growing a set of boobs that are each bigger than my head, just for you, and you can’t even force yourself, for a few moments, to listen to what I have to say!
Honestly, sometimes I don’t know why I even bother. I mean, frankly, I was a little lonely when I was flat-chested but I had my cats and my blog.
Now I’ve got the biggest tits in town, and all I’ve got to show for it is you drooling incoherently at my hugely overdeveloped bust line!
Anyway, I had a big rhetorical close prepared and I’m just going to run with it, even though you’re still ignorning my mind and focusing on the same, tedious, superficial endowments.
Here goes: “So, um, thanks to drinking gallons and gallons of experimental, genetically modified milk, I haven’t merely caught up with big-breasted girls you used to date … I’m way out in front!”