We need to bottle it.

So there’s a pretty Hooters waitress in Wisconsin named Danielle Houghton who has really big boobs. And when I say really big boobs, you know I mean really big boobs. But here’s the rub: they didn’t use to be big at all. In the earlier Hooters profile pics her breasts look pretty big, double-Ds maybe, but she doesn’t appear to have the mind blowing mega-bosom she’s got in the later pics. For work related purposes I was checking out some of her photos when I stumbled on an interesting factoid:

Her breasts are still growing. One account on Regretful Morning from about 18 months ago is that she has a medical condition that will cause her breasts to continue growing for her entire life, and that she’ll need to have periodic reduction surgery to bring them back into normal human scale. If that’s true, this is the greatest case of Cursed With Awesome I’ve ever heard of.

There’s also another, different story:

“The wrong kind of birth control” made her breasts gigantic. The claim is that she was on “the pill” for a year and her breasts just kept growing bigger and bigger and bigger. If that’s the actual cause I (and millions of American women) want to know all about whatever prescription she was taking.

I doubt the pill story, though. In my younger years I dated a petite girl who ballooned from a C-cup to a DD-cup in the space of a few months (before I was with her, damnit all to hell) because of a birth control prescription change. However, it did not cause ongoing growth for years and the effects, while abundant and pleasing, it was not remotely in the same class as what happened to Danielle Houghton, who expanded from something like a B-cup to “standard brassiere fitting metrics no longer apply.” Also, you’ve got to think at some point she’d say, “It’s been three months since I could buy off-the-rack bras, clothing, see any part of my body below my diaphragm or stand up straight. Maybe I should just ask my boyfriend to wear a condom.”

There’s a ton of photos of Danielle out there. I was not able to find any obviously recent ones but one can remain hopeful that she’s bigger than ever and still making the Janesville, Wisconsin Hooters a popular destination throughout the Upper Midwest.